Self Massage and stress relief
Dear Indigo Spring readers,
In this unusual time of Coronavirus lockdown. Many of our habits have changed. We will be sitting and standing and moving at different times and different ways. In the absense of Massage therapists to help you, I have created some videos to help you take care of yourself and your household. I hope they are helpful. Let me know if there are any areas you’d like me to focus on.
Stay safe love Morag
Helping Others
One of the things that gives me joy in life is helping others. It gives a sense of well-being that comes with compassion to other people and helps understand each other and our differences.
When going through my own difficulties in life, it was the people who showed unconditional love and friendship, kindness and understanding that made the real difference. When you are really out of kilter, you sometimes have no capacity to think beyond yourself, your own needs, and your own safety. Friends who would text “thinking of you” and expecting nothing in return. Family who would rock up with food when you couldn’t even think of eating. People who would offer to take your kids out so you could just do nothing. People who said “ I don’t understand your illness but I’m here anyway. They made the real difference in helping me to get well again.
At that time, I was aware that I couldn’t think of others and wondered if I’d ever get back there again. Now I’m more balanced, I can look back on how I was and observe how I’ve changed.
I always loved helping others but I sometimes didn’t see how it drained me. I helped others before seeing to my own needs. Maybe I looked for validation through my kindly acts? I don’t know. Certainly there was a point at which I no longer observed my own balance.
Now I’m back in a positive space, I have to watch my own levels. Of energy, health, exercise, nutrition, alone time or with others. This has become key in my ability to help others. I work as much or as little as I can to remain balanced and cut my cloth accordingly.
I’m so happy to be able to help others in my work as a massage therapist and singer. I also wonder how else to help others in the future?
I have skills that I no longer use. I see the young adults coming through life with a different set of skills than I had at that age and wonder if some of the ones that changed are going to be needed in generations to come.
Relaxation without stimulus. Social interaction ( particularly with people you don’t like). Waiting. Communicating. Getting on with the plan. Reflecting and improving, Giving yourself a break. … just some of my thoughts. I’ll work on that, but please add more to the list particularly if you have ideas for how to improve.
We don’t have to have the answers to everything just make a first move. Helping others has health benefits to us too:
How does helping others help you?
It lowers blood pressure – which will reduce stress on the heart
It reduces depression and anxiety
It helps us produce oxytocin which gives us joy and encourages further compassion
It improves our sense of optimism by engaging vagus nerve, also helping with digestion and happiness
It lowers stress which improves organ functions
Smiling helps us reduce cortisol which improves immune system.
It improves our self esteem, giving us satisfaction and a sense of purpose
When we give back, new synapses form in our brain which increase our motivation and attention.
We live longer
Tell me how you help others or have been helped.
Be the friend you’d like to have.
xxxM
Find Your Happy
I thought I’d lost my happy. My happiness in simple things, my joy at the sun shining or raindrops down the windowpane. I truly believed that I would never feel that way again, free and at peace.
But this week a veil has lifted. The cloud that I hadn’t even realised was there, blew on by and let the sun shine once more. I still had moments of anxiety or uncertainty but now it was different. Let me tell you a little about it.
I used to be happy and carefree, even with money troubles and life’s ups and downs, I found great delight in my children and exploring the world with them. I grew up through being their mum. I was driven and determined and I found work that pushed these skills and made a difference in the world. I defined myself through these roles.
It all changed when I had an accident at work which left me with PTSD and anxiety. It doesn’t matter what caused it now, because it is about the changes within that I would like to reflect on.
My brain no longer worked and my thoughts could not be relied upon to be truthful. This is devastating ! It is difficult to make any decisions because the brain can’t sieve truth from opinion or the levels of danger. Everything could be life threatening and each noise, movement, change in light, could be about to kill me. My brain reacted as if it was about to die each time a change happened around me. This would happen at least 20 times a day. I retreated to my bed where I was safe. I needed help with everything, and couldnt sleep for the flashbacks.
Over the following years many things contributed to my recovery: Unconditional love from my family and close friends. Talking Therapies. CBT. EMDR. Medication. Yoga. Mindfulness.Massage. Time. Empathy for myself.
Without my family and friends I wouldn’t be here today. They rang and messaged and visited whenever they could, knowing that none of us knew if I’d get better, but loving me anyway. If there is one thing you can do for others, it’s Keep in touch. No-one knows what to do or say, it’s the fact you have made the connection that makes all the difference.
Go to the Doctor. It’s tough but combinations of treatment really do help. I didn’t want medication because I didnt want to believe I had a mental health problem. I self medicated with alcohol and codeine. It was only when my therapist pointed out that this was the wrong medication for my illness and that I was doing myself harm, that I tried, anti depressives. They make a real difference but don’t help alone.
Talking therapies were invaluable and although really hard work to do, I chose to view them as my work. I felt ashamed that I couldnt work and provide for my family. So this was something I could push myself to do. EMDR involved revisiting my most traumatic moment, over and over again, until the memory had less reaction to me. I would return home each week from therapy in tears and feeling worse. But over time the memory seemed more cloudy.
I was encouraged to return to Yoga which I had enjoyed previously. At first my teacher would collect me for class and I could only lay on the mat. Gradually I remembered how to breathe deeply and began mindfulness classes. This isn’t for everyone but the essence is to find an activity that makes you happy. It doesn’t matter what it is. Just do it when you can. Or encourage your friend or family member who may be struggling to return to or discover an activity they enjoy.
I felt confused that I could do an activity but not work, not realising that so much of my self worth was linked to my professional career. With a lot of persuading I took iceskating lessons which enabled me to bond with my step daughter. It was scary and loud, but I didn’t feel someone else would kill me. If I fell, then it was my own doing. Gradually I began to heal.
It took time before I could move onto thinking about what I would do next, and a long time before I dared to try something new. I took a massage course and began to help others once more. I had to learn to give empathy to myself.
Now I love being a massage therapist. I work part time and have to be really proactive about not working too hard ( or my anxiety attacks worsen).
I now pass on to others the trick of giving yourself some love. Think about someone or thing your give unconditional love to, your children or children in your family, your pets? If they make a mistake or need a hand, think how calmly you talk to them. Now focus on the part of you that isnt working so well right now. It might be something in your mind, or equally a physical probem like an injured knee. Talk to that bit of you as if they were your child/pet. Talk camly, allowing for change to happen. Loving unconditionally, whether it mends or not. This has made the biggest difference to me.
Finally, the veil lifting. I got closure. I received an apology that the incident at work had happened.
So if this story resonates with you or your loved ones, remember these few things that can make all the difference:
- Keep in touch with your family and friends, even if you don’t feel great.
- Go to the Doctor and take the help you can.
- Find an activity that makes you happy.
- Loving yourself and others unconditionally
Good luck with your journey. I hope you find your happy. It makes such a difference when you reframe the things that matter.
Love Morag
Speak up
Do you ever feel misunderstood? Ever give up on activities because they don’t quite the meet your expectations? Does the cynic in your head continually put you off? Maybe it’s time to learn how to speak up for yourself.
Our inner monologue can often be misguiding when it speaks negatively. Showing you binary options, yes or no, right or wrong. Life is rarely black or white and learning how to monitor our negative self talk can help us achieve more balance in life.
This January I have joined a gym for the first time ever. I have already decided I don’t like running or cycling as they hurt my knees. I have started to try out the various classes on offer, and wanted to tell you a little of my experience,
So I bravely don my bikini and enter the pool for aqua class. I have no idea what to expect. The bright young girl instructions the class demonstrates the movements from the side of the pool, whilst holding dumbbells. I try to copy and can hardly move, Each time I put the float into the water my feet lift off the bottom. I laugh and try again, no improvement. She wants us to lunge from side to side. Again my feet float . I laugh nervously now, turning round to see the other 23 people in the class moving quite fluidly. Just to put this into context, I’m in my mid 40s and am one of the youngest in the class, many in 60s and 70s. I’m feeling disheartened. The class finishes and I go to leave, asking my neighbour about why I floated up. I’m assuming my high body fat level is just creating me into a float, She tells me I have to use force to push down.
I recount this tale to my friends and family with great hilarity but also embarrassment as I have no strength,
I booked to go to the class again today but with a question for the instructor. I realised that the problem was that the pool was too deep for me, At 1.54 m in a pool of 1.3, only my head was above wate. I asked the instructor if she had something I could stand on to lift my shoulders out of the ware. Sure she said handing me a step from step classes. Of course. It took only a quick moment to speak up, and n9w I can do the movements with…. well not with ease but with much more success than last time.
Inculd have given ul, my brain told me I was rubbish and that I couldn’t do it. But I spoke up, asked for help and then succeeded.
Speaking up doesn’t need to be difficult, doesn’t need to be aggressive, but being heard makes a reall difference
good luck in whatever you are doing to look after yourself,
x Morag
World Mental Health Day
As World Mental Health Day approaches, I am thinking about my own mental health, the journey I am on, and how massage has helped me.
Four years ago I was involved in a traumatic incident which changed me forever. I lost my mind, my career and my sense of self. I still have PTSD and am learning to adapt my life to making the best of my strengths. I still become hypervigilant when tired, in a crowd, when the light is bright, or there is an unfamiliar sound. I still find it hard to be around unpredictable people ( where people are drinking or dancing, children, crowds) or to be in airports and stations and supermarkets, but the difference is, Ive learnt strategies to calm myself and get to a safe place rather than to cry uncontrollably.
My mental health problems are now part of me. What has surprised me though, is how talking about my difficulties has helped those around me. The people who are also struggling begin to ask about support. The people who have had no contact with it, discover ways to help their friends and family.
I was helped by strong friendships, a good talking therapist, medication, yoga, massage and mindfulness. So now I’m holding the beacon for mental health awareness so that others may not feel so alone.
Here are some facts for you to consider:
Mental health problems affect 1:4 people in any given year.
- People who get the right combination of treatment, support and self care, get better.
- Mental health doesn’t improve with resilience.
How can I help myself?
– stay aware of your mental health
– nourish your social life
– try peer support
– make time for therapeutic activities
– look after your physical health
– contact a specialist organisation
What makes me feel relaxed?
- Having a massage
- Taking a bath
- Reading a book
- Listening to music
- Yoga
- Mindfulness meditation
- Walking in nature
- Caring for plants or animals
How does Massage help ?
- Massage reduces stress hormones, insulin and cortisol.
- Massage lowers blood pressure by improving blood and oxygen circulation
- Low blood pressure reduces depression, stress and anxiety
- Massage improves function of lymphatic system, reducing swelling and removing lactic acid from muscles
Give me a shout if you would like to book in for your stress relieving massage.
Take a massage this summer
The heatwave continues in Britain and many of us find ourselves behaving as though we are on our summer holidays.
Relaxing afternoons and evenings in the garden, with friends, by the river or sea, in pub gardens and generally relaxing in the sun. New activities and fondly remembered ones, days at the races and weddings galore.
What is not to like? Whilst we typically enjoy a week or two in these 30+* temperatures on holiday, we rarely experience this in the UK whilst we continue with our daily lives. Work, school, life etc, can take its toll in the heat,
What happens to our bodies?
Our bodies need lots of extra fluid and nutrients in this hot weather. It is important to keep water with you during the day so that you can hydrate when needed. People can become light headed or dizzy, sluggish and lethargic without sufficient water. Our habits change too, we may miss out on our regular exercise classes and muscles can stiffen and contract, or we may take on more extreme or sporadic physical activities as we have fun. One of the most common injuries we see in the summer is that of people playing sports that they haven’t played for years, the brain remembers the moves and the muscles over stretch. As we use our muscles in different ways tthe lactic acid build up can become entangled in the muscle fibre and cause knots .
If we carry on with our daily lives at the same pace as in colder weather, we may stiffin up from the reduced water in the body whilst sitting for hours at the computer or in the car.
How can massage help?
Pulled muscles – Massage can help by stretching contracted , tight muscles, improving circulation to ensure the right balance of nutrients reach the muscles.
Tiredness – It helps with the lethargy often experienced in hot weather, by releasing feel good hormones around the body.
Swollen legs – It helps with swellings or odema, by encouraging the lymphatic system to flow more freely.
Stress – Massage lowers blood pressure and rebalances all 13 systems in the body
Headaches – Indian head massage relieves pressure in the head neck and shoulders, it uses acupressure, lymphatic drainage and massage to soothe nerves and tiny muscles.
Pregnancy massage – massage heps women during pregnancy ( after 12 weeks) reduce swellings, ease pulled muscles and relieve pelvic girle pain
Sports injuries – deep tissue massaeg helps work muscles deep under the surface that may have been overworked through exercise and sports.
Massage is is a time to rebalance the body and summer is an especially good time to do this
So enjoy the summer, keep cool and covered up, and take a massage to help you feel like yourself again.