One of the things that gives me joy in life is helping others. It gives a sense of well-being that comes with compassion to other people and helps understand each other and our differences.
When going through my own difficulties in life, it was the people who showed unconditional love and friendship, kindness and understanding that made the real difference. When you are really out of kilter, you sometimes have no capacity to think beyond yourself, your own needs, and your own safety. Friends who would text “thinking of you” and expecting nothing in return. Family who would rock up with food when you couldn’t even think of eating. People who would offer to take your kids out so you could just do nothing. People who said “ I don’t understand your illness but I’m here anyway. They made the real difference in helping me to get well again.
At that time, I was aware that I couldn’t think of others and wondered if I’d ever get back there again. Now I’m more balanced, I can look back on how I was and observe how I’ve changed.
I always loved helping others but I sometimes didn’t see how it drained me. I helped others before seeing to my own needs. Maybe I looked for validation through my kindly acts? I don’t know. Certainly there was a point at which I no longer observed my own balance.
Now I’m back in a positive space, I have to watch my own levels. Of energy, health, exercise, nutrition, alone time or with others. This has become key in my ability to help others. I work as much or as little as I can to remain balanced and cut my cloth accordingly.
I’m so happy to be able to help others in my work as a massage therapist and singer. I also wonder how else to help others in the future?
I have skills that I no longer use. I see the young adults coming through life with a different set of skills than I had at that age and wonder if some of the ones that changed are going to be needed in generations to come.
Relaxation without stimulus. Social interaction ( particularly with people you don’t like). Waiting. Communicating. Getting on with the plan. Reflecting and improving, Giving yourself a break. … just some of my thoughts. I’ll work on that, but please add more to the list particularly if you have ideas for how to improve.
We don’t have to have the answers to everything just make a first move. Helping others has health benefits to us too:
How does helping others help you?
It lowers blood pressure – which will reduce stress on the heart
It reduces depression and anxiety
It helps us produce oxytocin which gives us joy and encourages further compassion
It improves our sense of optimism by engaging vagus nerve, also helping with digestion and happiness
It lowers stress which improves organ functions
Smiling helps us reduce cortisol which improves immune system.
It improves our self esteem, giving us satisfaction and a sense of purpose
When we give back, new synapses form in our brain which increase our motivation and attention.
We live longer
Tell me how you help others or have been helped.
Be the friend you’d like to have.
xxxM