Hidden feelings

To start with, I would hide my feelings of not being able to cope,  Deny them and throw myself into the next big thing. Distraction was sure to be the solution. “Think positively” “time to move on” people would say with best intentions. But mental health problems don’t simply go away .

Next was the shame. Why can’t I cope? I’d been able to manage my life until now. I had embraced the waves of up and down that most creative people travel but never this lost. I felt so ashamed and believed that people would not want to know me if I shared how I felt. I was sure I’d lose my job.  I’d create elaborate strategies to hide my state of mind.

Some days I would dress sharply and wear make up and stylish hairdo’s. Other days I could hardly get out of bed. Eventually I broke and needed lots of help.

Those times were very dark.

But you know, the people that hung around, are still here now. And the more I’ve learnt to talk about my experiences, the more people understand and begin to share their own experiences and support others .

In recent years there has been a tidal shift in acceptance of people’s difficulties with mental health. And a plethora of  ideas for self-help. It is becoming much more possible to seek help and in turn help others with their difficulties.

Schools have had emotional literacy as part of the curriculum since 1999, and as the generation that has learnt it reaches adulthood, we see those people leading the way in openness, tolerance and support. We also recognise that people have many facets and that they won’t all be strong at the same time .

I see in my own children a much greater openness to emotions and mental health.

My own journey led me to finding a new career and helping others find balance in their lives. Massage might not be my only career but it helps me to live in balance. It helps me find techniques to manage my mental and physical health, and whilst I will always be managing symptoms, the balance of giving and taking, helping and being helped. DOing and just BEing, keeps me inspired and hopeful.

At Indigo Spring, massage is the access point to all sorts of services and helps others to begin their journey.

Its hookline is “Take time for yourself”.

So although I wouldn’t wish mental health problems on anyone. I have found a path, through my own vulnerability and I am happy to help others find theirs.

Hang in there folks. And talk to each other .

 

( If you are really suffering today please call your GP)